In our NLP coaching framework the ‘getting to there’ phase ensures your insights become actions, your actions become habits, and your habits lead to direction and change.
How NLP Coaching Turns Insight into Direction
You have several models that lead to success; you have a number of valuable beliefs about both yourself and your client.
You’ve set a beginning frame, and you and your client are in a great mental state; you know what your client wants (and it’s good for them and the people close to them), you know where they are now (and anything that might be blocking them), you have an appropriate level of rapport, what do you do next?
Our suggestion is to choose one or more of these:
- Listen in such a way that your client feels listened to and heard; you may not have to do anything else. Often when a client feels heard, they start solving their own challenges. Curiously, sometimes the less you do, the better results your clients get. You may still need to do more, but don’t rush. If you want a structure you can always 1) ask about a) goals b) current situations c) options going forward d) first of next steps e) follow up or 2) a) direction and purpose b) how they’re going to invest their time, energy and focus on a daily basis c) how they’re going to measure progress and continually learn (feedback and feedforward),
- Make sure your client knows 1) what to do (strategy), 2) how to do it (skills and capabilities), 3) is motivated to do it (i.e. know the ‘why,’), and 4) has the resources to do it (in practice much of the art of ‘getting things done’ is in working out what resources are needed, and finding them.)
- Break their challenge into small steps, and sometimes even smaller steps, if that doesn’t work. Many clients sabotage themselves by setting too big initial steps, and this starts a cycle of negative beliefs. Remember, we often overestimate what we can do in a day but totally underestimate what we can do over the longer term if we take small steps every day.
- Get your client to ask several people what they would do in the situation they’re in (and what they want to achieve), choose the best approach, and implement it,
- If your client has a presenting problem, ask them to teach you how to solve it. You can use NLP strategy and meta-model questions to elicit what they do to create the problem. This will often help the client solve their own problem or give you quality information about what to do next.
- Set your client a task or series of tasks that, if they complete, will help them learn what they need to learn to move forward. For example, if a man is frightened of approaching women, get him to start small (as in the suggestion about small steps), make it a task to smile, and make eye contact with at least five women daily.
- Take your client through a series of NLP or hypnotic techniques. (We have a whole section on this website which details a variety of NLP and hypnotic approaches.)
- Encourage your client to implement a process like daily questions, journalling, regular checking with stakeholders, – and/or regular routines.
And remember, sometimes the problem is the solution! In complex situations, what appears to be the problem is actually the best balance between the various forces.
When you’ve taken your client through one or more of the above, you’re ready to future pace them through the first step and, if appropriate (and it mostly is!), finish the session with an end frame.
Review of ‘where we are now’?
What are some of the reasons this can be difficult?
We all have:
- Blind spots
- Cognitive biases
- Egos
- Lifetraps
All these require work and energy to reduce! (And we naturally preserve energy),
What helps clarify ‘where we are now’
- Good mata-model questions
- Eliciting NLP strategies
- KPIs
- Daily questions, after action reviews and journalling
- Specific timeline exercises (for timetraps),
Your Next Step
➡ Previous Page: Where are you now? (Meta-Model) | Next Page: Mental rehearsal
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NLP Coaching – Getting to There: FAQs
Q: What does “getting to there” mean in NLP coaching?
A: In NLP coaching, “getting to there” means bridging the gap between where the client is now and where they want to be, by using structured steps, small actions and regular feedback to maintain momentum.
Q: What common obstacles prevent clients from getting to there?
A: Clients often struggle due to overly large goals, unknown resources, hidden beliefs or lack of feedback. These cause hesitation, stalling or relapse into old patterns. NLP coaching helps identify and manage these factors.
Q: What are practical next-step strategies in the “getting to there” phase?
A: Strategies include breaking challenges into small steps, using meta-model questions, eliciting resources via NLP strategy work, and scheduling review and feedback loops to keep progress on track.
Q: How do feed-forward, feedback and measurement enhance the “getting to there” phase?
A: Feed-forwad,feedback and measurement make progress visible. By reviewing what was done, what worked, and what to adjust, NLP coaching converts insight into sustainable improvement and direction rather than a one-time breakthrough.