Getting to There
You have a number of models that lead to success; you have a number of valuable beliefs about both yourself and your client.
You’ve set a beginning frame, and you and your client are in a great mental state; you know what your client wants (and it’s good for them and the people close to them), you know where they are now (and anything that might be blocking them), you have an appropriate level of rapport, what do you do next?
Our suggestion is to choose one or more of these:
- Listen in such a way that your client feels listened to; you may not have to do anything else. Often when a client feels heard, they start solving their own challenges. Curiously, sometimes the less you do, the better results your clients get. You may still need to do more, but don’t rush.
- Make sure your client knows 1) what to do (strategy), 2)how to do it (skills and capabilities), 3) is motivated to do it (i.e. know the ‘why,’), and 4) has the resources to do it (in practice much of the art of ‘getting things done’ is in working out what resources are needed, and finding them.)
- Break their challenge into small steps, and sometimes even smaller steps, if that doesn’t work. Many clients sabotage themselves by setting too big initial steps, and this starts a cycle of negative beliefs. Remember, we often overestimate what we can do in a day but totally underestimate what we can do over the longer term if we take small steps every day.
- Get your client to ask a number of people what they would do in the situation they’re in (and what they want to achieve), choose the best approach, and implement it,
- Set your client a task, or series of tasks, that if they complete them, will learn what they need to learn to move forward. For example, if a man is frightened of approaching women, get him to start small (as in the suggestion about small steps), make it a task to smile, and make eye contact with at least five women every day.
- Take your client through a series of NLP or hypnotic techniques. (We have a whole section on this website which details a variety of NLP and hypnotic approaches.)
- Encourage your client to implement a process like daily questions, journalling, regular checking with stakeholders, – and/or regular routines.
When you’ve taken your client through one or more of the above, you’re ready to future pace them through the first step and, if appropriate (and it mostly is!), finish the session with an end frame.
In the next section, we look at Mental Rehearsal, an essential part of helping our client rehearse and take the best action.
This video introduces ways to explore how to help your client get to their goals.
Full NLP Techniques List
NLP Coaching Section Index
1: NLP Coaching Introduction
2: Success system and model
3: NLP coaching model
4: Beginning frame
5: States and anchors
6: End goals and direction
8: Where are you
9: Getting there
10: Mental rehearsal
11: End frame
13: CEO and executive coaching follow up