Before we start something to reflect on:
Top 5 Regrets Of The Dying
(A useful reminder, taken from Bronnie Ware’s book of the same name)
- I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.
- I wish I didn’t work so hard.
- I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.
- I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends
- I wish that I had let myself be happier.
(We all need coaches,mentors, consultants, accountability partners etc because we all have ego’s and cognitive biases, which will otherwise hinder our progress.)
DUFF (Our preferred Success System)
- direction and purpose, the direction you want to go in (normally works much better than goals)
- use of: time, energy and attention on a daily basis (probably the most important resources we have). Building daily habits and routines.
- feedback, (asking about our performance in the past) and feedforward (asking for suggestions of how to improve in the future).
- follow up (follow up turns the framework into a system)
Reflections on What Leads to Happiness and Fulfilment
Useful when setting our life direction / end goals: 1) Meaning and purpose 2) Financial, time and geographical freedom freedom 3) Physical, emotional and spiritual health 4) Great relationships 5) Work direction (these maybe a subset of 1) and/or 2).
Remember to to translate direction and purpose into daily routine we need a version of goals (Massively Transformative Purpose (MTP’s), High Hard Goals (HHG’s), Clear Goals (CG’s) – small, daily achievable goals.) and a way to priorite (3 key 12 month goals, 3 key quarter goals, 3 key key week goals, 3 key daily goals).
Another approach we use is learning to cultivate curiosity, amplify it into passion, and transform the results into purpose, and then further amplify it with autonomy and mastery.
(Kotler, Steven. The Art of Impossible (p. 29). Harper Wave. Kindle Edition.)
- goals, what you want to achieve
- current reality, where specifically you are now in relation to what you want to achieve
- options, a number of real options that you could take to move you towards your goal
- way forward, what’s the next small step to move you forward, and
- follow up, follow up tuns the framework into a system.
NLP Coaching Model
- beginning frame. How we set the scene for any interaction.
- state. Our mental/physical condition in that moment.
- outcome. What our client wants to achieve.
- rapport. The quality of communication between us and our client.
- current Situation. What our client is already doing to achieve their outcome and/or to stop them achieving it.
- technique or task. Actions to achieve an outcome.
- future pace. Mentally rehearsing actions to achieve an outcome.
- end Frame. What we say at the end of an interaction to support our client in achieving their outcome.
- review. Continually improving what we do.
Items 3, 5, 6 and 7 are similar to GROW
Items 1, 2, 4 and 8 increase the effectiveness of the model
DVMOAR (How to achieve almost anything)
- discovery, investigation and clarification of what we want
- vision, purpose and culture, what will what we want look like (+other senses), when we’ve really achieved it, and what do we and others get from achieving it? Who (what sort of people) do we want to work with to achieve it.
- management (plan), what resources do we need? How will we get them? How will we use them? How do we become effective and efficient?
- output, we sometimes we need a test, fail fast and improve stage, to confirm the best action to take. How do we stop procrastinating?
- action, what are the action (s) will we take? How will that move us forward?
- review, how and when, do we measure how we’re doing? How will we change what we’re doing? How will we know when we’ve achieved our vision? We may then repeat the steps.
Marshall Goldsmith Stakeholder Centered Coaching (MGSCC)
- discovery, coachability check, leadership assessment, stakeholder input, psychometric (if appropriate), leader to choose maximum of 2 behaviours to improve. Select time frame – normally 6 or 12 months, estimate the benefits of improving and the implication of not improving.
- involve key stakeholders, initial key stakeholder brief, share improvement areas with key stakeholders, ask each each stakeholder for feedback and feedforward one a month in a time efficient process, write down their suggestions with thanks – but not comment,
- develop monthly action plan, brief coach on feedback and feedforward, agree a simply action plan for the month, rehearse with with coach as necessary, repeat monthly,
- conduct a mini survey, every 3-6 months complete a confidential mini-survey, complete after action assessment,
- final mini survey, complete final mini-survey and final after action review, celebrate success, thank those involved.
(If the coach contracts on the ‘Pay on Results’ basis, the coach only gets paid if the final confidential mini survey confirms that the leaders stakeholders have noticed a real improvement in the leaders capabilities in the areas designated at the start of the programme.)
Richard Wiseman’s (scientifically verified) view on what encourages luck
- take action
- always be clear about your direction/what your working towards
- listen to your gut and intuition
- always take the learning from what appears to be bad luck (it may not be), and let go of the emotion (if not useful)
Ray Dalio’s 5-step process to achieve success
- know your goals/direction
- identify and don’t tolerate your problems
- (we will get big problems when we set an exciting directions – rejoice rather than panic) diagnose your problems to get to the route causes
- design a plan to get round them
- Implement your plan
+ Pain +reflection = progress
+ Don’t let your ego and blind spots get in your way
See Ray Dalio Successful Principles Video (30 minutes)
Nietzsche/Steven Kotler (The Art of Impossible)
- Find a passion and purpose
- Fortify passion with grit and goals
- Amplify the results with learning and creativity
- Use flow turbo-boost the whole process
Steven Kotler (The Art of Impossible)
- Curiosity, Passion, Purpose
- Autonomy and Mastery
- Massively Transformative Purpose (MTP’s), High Hard Goals (HHT’s), Clear Goals (CG’s) – small, daily achievable goals.
In this video, Michael talks through our NLP coaching model.
We’ll go into the points above in more depth in the following sections, starting with the beginning frame in the next session.NLP Online Training | Ultimate NLP and Coaching
Full NLP Techniques List
NLP Coaching Section Index
1: NLP Coaching Introduction
2: Success system and model
3: NLP coaching model
4: Beginning frame
5: States and anchors
6: End goals and direction
8: Where are you
9: Getting to there
10: Mental rehearsal
11: End frame
13: CEO and executive coaching follow up