4. Robert Dilts’ Logical Levels
Firstly, decide who you would like to model or what skills or capabilities you would like to develop.
Remember, NLP is about modelling the best – so set your sights high. Arrange a meeting. You’ll be surprised who’ll see you if you come over as genuinely interested. And there are lots of others to see if they don’t.
Use a recorder and preferably arrange to see people in their offices – I have some very interesting recordings in bars and clubs – but the background noise blanks out the content!
And remember to listen – sometimes questions that don’t make any sense to you get the best answers.
You’ve chosen someone because they’re good – so let them know, and keep any confidences that are important to them.
You might ask:
“You have a reputation at being good at ‘people networking’. Are you happy that I ask you some questions about it?”
Mix and match the following question sets:
- Where and when do you do it?
- What specifically do you do?
- If you were going to teach me to do it, what would you ask me to do?
- What skills do you have that enable you to do this?
- How did you learn how to do this?
- What do you believe about yourself when you do this?
- What do you believe about the person you’re doing this to?
- Do you have a personal mission or vision when you’re doing this?
- How do you know that you’re good at this?
- What emotional and physical state are you in when you do this?
- What happened for you to be good at this?
- What are you trying to achieve when you do this?
- Who else do you recommend I talk to about this?
NOTE: When you have more experience in doing this – and the questions become automatic – you could choose to get into deep rapport with your subject and imagine what it would be like to actually ‘be’ your subject as they are describing what they do. This is a step towards ‘true’ NLP modelling.
5. Marshall Goldsmith’s Feedforward
Feedforward is an approach developed by Marshall Goldsmith. It overcomes the challenge that in normal circumstances we’re not to keen to take or give feedback. For more read What Got You Here Won’t Get You There by Marshall Goldsmith.
1. Pick one behaviour that you if you changed it, you would experience significant, development in your life. For example: I want to be a better listener.
2. Describe this objective in a one-to-one dialogue with anyone. It could be your husband, kids, boss, best friend, or coworker. It could even be a stranger. The person you choose is irrelevant. He or she doesn’t have to be an expert on the subject. For example, you say, I want to be a better listener. Almost anyone in an organisation knows what this means. You don’t have to be an ‘expert’ on listening to know what good listening means to you.
Likewise the person doesn’t have to be an expert on you. If you’ve ever found yourself seated next to a perfect stranger and proceeded to engage in earnest, heartfelt, and honest discussion of your problems with that stranger – or vice-versa – you know this is true.
Some of the truest advice comes from strangers. We are all human beings. We know what is true. And when a useful idea comes along, we don’t care who the source is.
3. Ask that person for two suggestions for the future that might help you achieve a positive change.
If you’re talking to someone who knows you, or has worked with you in the past, the only ground rule is that there can be no mention of the past. Everything is about the future.
For example, you say: “I want to be a better at finding good clients. Please suggest two ideas that, if you were in my position, you might do to find new clients?”
The other person suggests: “First, I’d find an excuse to drop a note to all my previous clients asking them for a brief ‘catch up’ session’. Second, I’d find six people who appeared to be good at attracting clients and ask them if they would share the approaches they used.”
4. Listen attentively to the suggestions. Take notes. Your only ground rule is that you are not allowed to judge, rate, or critique the suggestion in any way. You can’t even say something positive, such as, “That’s a good idea.” The only response you are permitted to say is, “Thank you.”
The idea is to be genuinely grateful for their effort and time. Be aware that some of the ideas that we might have initially dismissed, actually turn out to be the most useful.
Put the above into practice!
The next section looks at how NLP can help us deal with common problems such as phobias.NLP Training Online | Read more Sign Up For Our Occasional Email Updates
KEY NLP Techniques Section Index
1: NLP Techniques
3: Amplify feelings
4: Bad memories (Dissolving)
5: Bad memories (Exploding)
6: Belief change
7: NLP Coaching
8: Perceptual positions
9: Fast phobia cure
10: Hypnosis and meditation and separately Free Hypnosis MP3s
12: Mental Rehearsal
13: Metaprogrammes, Profiles and Preferences
15: Progressive dissociation
17: Self Compassion
19. Six step re-framing
21: States and anchors
24: Timeline therapy
25: Visual Squash